“There’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance. It’s called humility.
Confidence smiles. Arrogance smirks.”
I was watching an old episode of Shark Tank last week during my holiday break from blogging and there was this relatively young guy pitching his business idea to the sharks. The interesting thing about this particular show is that several investors made an offer for his business but no one wanted him to be part of it. Why? Because they thought he was a detriment to his own business and it/they would never be successful if he came along for the ride. Instead, they would essentially pay him to go away.
The other interesting part of this show is that this guy couldn’t understand why they wanted him to leave, even after the sharks tried to explain their reasoning to him. He had this bewildered look on his face, thinking that maybe he wasn’t hearing things correctly. You see, in a room filled with intelligent and very successful people, he thought he was the smartest guy in the room and had difficulty accepting anything less than his truth.
Unfortunately, we all probably know people who are affected with this smartest person in the room disorder. If you’ve ever lived with a teenager, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Luckily, most of them realize, at some point in their lives, they were wrong. The problem is, some never do. They turn into adults who believe they are the smartest person in the room because they possess a fair degree of knowledge about certain subject matters or can answer some obscure question.
Of course not every intelligent person feels or behaves this way. Most are sensitive, caring individuals who never flaunt their knowledge like some two dollar lottery winner who behaves like a wannabe genius investor. Most intelligent people understand that in a rush to be right and prove themselves to be the best, they would miss subtleties and human motivation. Because if you can understand people and give them the common courtesy of your attention instead of turning your head when they speak, you will transcend any degree of intelligence you think you might possess.
Effective problem solving requires that an individual understand people and respect their positions and opinions. If you’re so locked into your own sense of truth, you will never see that the opposite of what you believe to be true may also be true. MIss that and you miss endless opportunities.
Ultimately, this disorder is more about winning or being right, than being smart and that, in itself, carries a heavy burden. You don’t really notice the truly intelligent people. Their egos are not obvious. Their walk is not a strut. Their smile is not a smirk. They don’t feel a need to shine a spotlight on themselves. They respect the opinion of others. They are smart enough to understand that losses always turn into wins and that everyone you meet or deal with on a daily basis has something to say that has value. The truly smart person understands that you never really learn much from hearing yourself speak.
Ignorant people with knowledge miss those little facts.
The guy on Shark Tank didn’t realize that it’s not about smarts, it’s about an inability or unwillingness to learn, to believe he may have made some mistakes along the way that not only affected his life but those around him, including his family.
The smartest guy in the room never realizes that he isn’t, even when it’s obvious to everyone around him. That’s real arrogance.
But as someone once said, arrogance is just insecurities playing dress up.
I couldn’t agree more.