So the largest retailer in the country decides that a “fat girl” line of Halloween costumes is the perfect marketing tool for their business. Before we move on, let that thought marinate for a while….a “fat girl” line of clothing. I wonder what they were thinking, how many people sat in on that meeting and if anyone in attendance raised their hand and said, “Look, I like that Queen song as much as the rest of you but maybe we should reconsider the wording here. I don’t think it translates well to our marketing plan and overall image.” You would think, right? Just one person?
Look , I don’t know squat about marketing. Never took a course, sat in a meeting, or made a decision about a product. But if you walked into a room of first grader’s and asked them what they thought of that language, they’d probably tell you it was inappropriate. First graders.
So now we have a room full of suit geniuses with degrees and years of business experience who lack our society’s basic diminishing supply of common sense. This isn’t even marketing 101, this is preschool 101….never make fun of others.
A spokesperson from Wal-Mart made a statement saying, “This should have never been on our site in the first place. ” Nothing like stating the obvious, huh?
But it does beg the question of how this happened in the first place. So after doing some undercover work on my own and interviewing people who participated in the meeting, I can give you a full report on what was said and how this all transpired. (See, I told you coming here would improve your knowledge of world events.)
How it all happened……obviously Genius 1 is the main decision maker, or SVP of Marketing.
(Genius 1) I was riding home last night and that Prince song came on the radio. Something about big ass women.
(Genius 3) You mean Queen and Fat Bottomed Girls?
(Genius 1) Whatever. Anyway, some DJ guy came on talking about how popular the song was and that the lead singer was some sort of homo and that some people were Gleeful when they sang it on TV and it did well.
(Genius 4) Actually, Freddie Mercury was gay and he Queen were one of the more influential bands in music history. And I think the show you’re referring to is called Glee and yes, they did perform that song on one of their shows.
(Genius 1) Whatever. So I was thinking we could probably tap into that thinking. Create a marketing plan for big fat women and put a label like that on our web site. Hey, Halloween is coming up soon. Fat people need costumes, right? It’s really unbelievable how these amazing ideas just pop into my head.
(Genius 2) Well, we already have a plus size line that does well.
(Genius 1) What the hell does plus size mean?
(Genius 5) It’s line of clothing for larger people.
(Genius 1) That’s a bullshit title. Do we also have a “minus” size line of clothing for boney ass people?
(Genius 6) No, we don’t. But I think you’re missing the point here. Actually, I’m confused. What exactly is your point?
(Genius 1) My point, for those of you who can’t see beyond your own snicker bars, is that we need to be bold with this idea. Everyone in retail has, whatever you call them, plus size lines. I think we need a a Fat Girl line. Think of the possibilities. We will be ahead of the curve on this one. Everyone will end up following us. The biggies will flock to our stores.
(Administrative Assistant to Genius 1) Actually Mr Genius 1, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I afraid it might offend a wide range of people and create a lot of bad will with our consumers. I can speak from experience that I would find it offensive and degrading.
(Genius 1) Hell, girl….I’ve told you before you should lay off the chips and guac dip. Besides, who the #&%#* asked for your opinion.
(Genius 3) Maybe we should ask legal about this before we put it out there? Just in case there’s some backlash?
(Genius 1) Legal? Isn’t she one of those blimps who’d buy our Fat Girl line? Nah, she’ll love it. No reason to ask her. Just get it on the website as soon as possible. We’ve got a winner here people. A real winner.
So that’s how the decision was made, Wal-Mat style.
G.K. Chesterton once said, “It isn’t that they can’t see the solution. It is that they can’t see the problem.”
Makes you wonder what’s behind insensitive door number 2.