Tag Archives: Hurt

The Things We Don’t Say

Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say.
Mitch Albom

This is not an elephant in the room kind of thing where the problem we all acknowledge keeps getting pushed under the carpet. This is more about an unspoken hug. It’s about the things we don’t say because we don’t know if the person we care about wants to hear them or if the words are just inadequate.

It’s about love, and pain. It’s about hurt, and loss. It’s about moments that stay with us forever but never get acknowledged once we’ve moved past them.

It’s about remembering, and forgetting. It’s about understanding, and learning. It’s about wanting to put your arms around someone you care about and tell them you can’t begin to understand their hurt or loss but you think about them everyday. It’s about wanting to let them know that you see past the smile.

This is about learning to live with the kind of loss that is not openly discussed. It’s about what if, and never was. It’s about what you can’t get back, and what you can’t let go.

It’s about remembering.

It’s always about remembering.

So when I walked over and hugged you the other day for no apparent reason , it was my way of letting you know that I remember, too. That I wish things were different for you. For all of us. Because for as  long as the people who love you have breath, you’ll never be alone.

And if there comes a time when you feel that words might bring you a sense of comfort, I’ll know before you begin speaking.

And I’ll see you there.


Right v Right

There is a difference between having the right to do something and doing the right thing.

As an example, we all have the right to speak what’s on our minds but we know that by doing so we may hurt someone in the process. As a result, that relationship, along with others around it, may never be the same.
The same holds true with our actions and decisions. Just because we have the right to do certain things, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. The best leaders, the most loyal friends, the smartest minds, understand that simple point. Sometimes, exercising your ability or authority without considering the feelings of others, makes you seem smaller in the eyes of those around you. Sooner or later those decisions impact your life in negative ways, especially when a pattern of insensitivity or disrespect becomes obvious.

The problem is once you say or do something like this, you can’t put the hurt back in the bag. It will always be there.

In many ways, life is not that difficult. Kindness is easy.

It’s not about having the right to do something. It’s about doing the right thing.