Sometimes you see something and really don’t know what to say or how to react to it. That’s how I felt when I walked into a store in Lexington Kentucky last month and saw a collection of unusual Christmas trees for sale. Now I understand that people have their own personal tastes and some of their choices can be…well, a little different. But I’m not here to judge, I’m only here to present some options for your holiday decorating plans as you begin the process of the season, and if I get lucky, maybe some answers.
So here is a sampling of Christmas trees I came across while walking through this mainstream Kentucky store.
For the person who has difficulty making up their mind on lights, colors and season and won’t mind if someone eats or drinks too much and needs a place to get sick, I present The Sick To My Stomach Nausea Christmas Tree
For the person whose life has been a little crazy these days and can’t really decide what’s up or down, I present The Inverted Christmas Tree of Life
For the person who loves Halloween and wants to bring some of that season, a little of Thanksgiving and some showgirl colors into their home, I present The All Inclusive Burlesque Christmas Tree.
For the frustrated and recently fired, former employee of The Crayola Company, I present The Ugly Pastel Christmas Trees.
For the person who went to their local Christmas Tree farm and couldn’t decide what type of tree they should get, what scent they liked, how strong their branches should be or if Frosty came with the whole multi colored green ensemble, I present The Confused Buyer Christmas Tree.
For the single man who requires companionship on cold winter holiday evenings, doesn’t care for blow-ups and believes this look is something that may keep him warm, I present The Floozie Mannequin Christmas Tree.
And finally, for the person who thinks angels really dress like this or is just confused from watching too many Christmas shows, I present the It’s A Wonderful Life Christmas Tree.
So there it is folks. Photos taken on October 3rd, 2017. Untouched and documented by yours truly. You can’t make it up.
Now, if any of you have one of these trees in your home, ( a possibility), and feel insulted by my comments, (unlikely), maybe you can respond and provide me with your purchase thought process. ‘Cause really, I need some closure and something to help me remove the scars created by these images. Therapy sessions have not helped.
So please. If you’re out there……