Tag Archives: Christmas

When Words Fail, You Need Photos

Sometimes you see something and really don’t know what to say or how to react to it. That’s how I felt when I walked into a store in Lexington Kentucky last month and saw a collection of unusual Christmas trees for sale. Now I understand that people have their own personal tastes and some of their choices can be…well, a little different. But I’m not here to judge, I’m only here to present some options for your holiday decorating plans as you begin the process of the season, and if I get lucky, maybe some answers.

So here is a sampling of Christmas trees I came across while walking through this mainstream Kentucky store.

For the person who has difficulty making up their mind on lights, colors and season and won’t mind if someone eats or drinks too much and needs a place to get sick, I present The Sick To My Stomach Nausea Christmas Tree

For the person whose life has been a little crazy these days and can’t really decide what’s up or down, I present The Inverted Christmas Tree of Life

For the person who loves Halloween and wants to bring some of that season, a little of Thanksgiving and some showgirl colors into their home, I present The All Inclusive Burlesque Christmas Tree.

For the frustrated and recently fired, former employee of The Crayola Company, I present The Ugly Pastel Christmas Trees.

For the person who went to their local Christmas Tree farm and couldn’t decide what type of tree they should get, what scent they liked, how strong their branches should be or if Frosty came with the whole multi colored green ensemble, I present The Confused Buyer Christmas Tree.

For the single man who requires companionship on cold winter holiday evenings, doesn’t care for blow-ups and believes this look is something that may keep him warm, I present The Floozie Mannequin Christmas Tree.

And finally, for the person who thinks angels really dress like this or is just confused from watching too many Christmas shows, I present the It’s A Wonderful Life Christmas Tree.

So there it is folks. Photos taken on October 3rd, 2017. Untouched and documented by yours truly. You can’t make it up.

Now, if any of you have one of these trees in your home, ( a possibility), and feel insulted by my comments, (unlikely), maybe you can respond and provide me with your purchase thought process. ‘Cause really, I need some closure and something to help me remove the scars created by these images. Therapy sessions have not helped.

So please. If you’re out there……

Not Today

I love Christmas. It’s one of my favorite holidays even though I think it’s been commercialized beyond what any sane person would consider reasonable. It makes rational people do irrational things.

So when I walked into a store the other day and the temperature was 82 degrees outside and the calendar still read summer and there were inflatable Christmas decorations playing Jingle Bells I felt it was time to draw the line.

So I took a quick look around and decided to pull the plug on Christmas. The inflated quickly deflated, the bells no longer jingled, and I walked away smiling.

It’s not time yet, people. It’s still summer and I refuse to allow anyone to cut a short season even shorter by pushing something onto me before I’m ready.  So this is a warning to all retailers. I’ll be watching. If I visit your store and you decide to be obnoxious about when you present your Christmas displays, then be prepared to re-inflate. If, of course, you can find the extension cord  I hid.

What? You thought I’d make it easy for you?

P.S. You see, this is why I shop at Amazon. I don’t have to deal with Jingle Bells before it’s time.

 

The Paperclip

One of my daughters saw this short video on Facebook and sent it to me.
During this season of line pushing Black Friday’s and hectic Cyber Monday’s, a little three year old girl reminds us that not everything comes with big price tags or in large packages. Most times it’s the smallest things throughout the year that matter most; a hug, a visit, a letter.

A paperclip.

 

True Friendship

Some people spend their whole life searching for one true friend.

Someone who loves unconditionally, expecting nothing in return.

Someone who will sit with you to find meaning in a simple Christmas ornament.

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Someone just like you.