Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say.
Mitch Albom
This is not an elephant in the room kind of thing where the problem we all acknowledge keeps getting pushed under the carpet. This is more about an unspoken hug. It’s about the things we don’t say because we don’t know if the person we care about wants to hear them or if the words are just inadequate.
It’s about love, and pain. It’s about hurt, and loss. It’s about moments that stay with us forever but never get acknowledged once we’ve moved past them.
It’s about remembering, and forgetting. It’s about understanding, and learning. It’s about wanting to put your arms around someone you care about and tell them you can’t begin to understand their hurt or loss but you think about them everyday. It’s about wanting to let them know that you see past the smile.
This is about learning to live with the kind of loss that is not openly discussed. It’s about what if, and never was. It’s about what you can’t get back, and what you can’t let go.
It’s about remembering.
It’s always about remembering.
So when I walked over and hugged you the other day for no apparent reason , it was my way of letting you know that I remember, too. That I wish things were different for you. For all of us. Because for as long as the people who love you have breath, you’ll never be alone.
And if there comes a time when you feel that words might bring you a sense of comfort, I’ll know before you begin speaking.
And I’ll see you there.
Beautiful.
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Thank you.
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Lovely. Thank you for writing this.
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Thank you for reading and commenting..:)
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George, your words truly touched me. I not certain of the reason for them or why but I sense there is some healing that needs to take place. Wishing you & the recipient of both your hug & your beautiful words a peaceful heart.
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That’s so nice of you to say, Lynn. I think we all know people who find healing difficult, and in some cases, impossible. We all carry these crosses with us at different points in our lives, some more so than others. Speaking about it is difficult and I understand why. Thank you for your beautiful response.
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this is so beautifully said –
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Thank you, Beth.
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Beautiful and moving, George. I read it twice. 🌻
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Thank you, Tonya. That’s a very nice compliment..:)
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😊
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Very moving words – so beautifully expressed, George.
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Thank you for saying so. I appreciate your kind words…:)
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This is a powerful, beautiful expression of what it means to care. My favorite line…that you see past the smile…brilliant, George.
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Thank you so much, Van. I’m sure you’ve experienced that kind of smile before..:)
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Yep. Both sending and receiving.
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Enjoyed reading. Hope all well with you and family my friend.
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Nice to hear from you, Jeff. Everything is good. I hope you and your family are also doing well.
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The kindness in people is a rare quality
And seeing that longing in someone else’s
Eyes is yet another piece in this puzzle of life
Great piece of writing
Excellent work
As Sheldon Always
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Thank you, Sheldon. You’re right about seeing the hurt in someone’s eyes, knowing how they must feel and being powerless to help. It is, as you say, another piece in the puzzle of life.
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Oh George… such deep and beautiful emotion. Hugs can mean so much more than a billion words. I’m so glad you could hug your friend and speak those unspoken words, and I hope they were received with the healing and love intended! Virtual hugs to you from Mars!
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Thank you, Jodi. You’re so right about the power of hugs. I hug everyone and my guess is you’re the same way..:) There is a great healing power in someone’s arms..:)
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Oh you are right – I am a big time hugger too! 🙂
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Very touching…..I can feel the pain through your words.
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Thank you, Svet.
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George, this one touched me on so many levels. Always remembering….. Great post.
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Thank you, Faye. Hurt and healing are both multi layered so I understand what you wrote. Thank you for your words..:)
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Exquisite. That is all …
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Thank you, Osyth. I appreciate your words.
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Beautifully said George-very touching and I can relate to your words- the understanding between people we love and the silent communication to express it. I do hope things are alright with you and your family
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Thank you, Lisa. Yes, everyone is good, thank God. I just think we all have people in our lives who we hug and hurt for in different ways. The hugs are really for both of us..:)
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You touched my heart this morning. Sending a hug your way George. 💛
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Thank you for your kind words, Val.
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Very appropriate for my life as well George. I can relate to the sentiment here. Actions taken and not taken. Words spoken and not spoken. Letting go and holding back. And those smiles …they don’t always reflect the reality.
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Thank you, Bruce. It really is difficult sometimes, especially when we are powerless to help.
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Touched me in places I didn’t know existed in my heart.
Thank you for sharing this, George.
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That is very nice of you to say, uju. A beautiful compliment. Thank you for your words.
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Thank you for this, George! Well said.
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Thank you, Jennifer. I appreciate your words.
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This was so beautiful and touching! As much as I believe in the power of words, there are times when they are completely inadequate. Sometimes a hug conveys compassion and understanding in a way that nothing else can. I’m glad you were able to give that hug, and sorry that someone you love is dealing with such profound loss.
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Thank you, Ann. I appreciate your words. You’re right about hugs and how much they mean to someone. I’m a hugger so it’s easy for me. Sometimes we want to do more but can’t and we’ve all been there, in those moments when you can see what someone is thinking and feeling and a hug is the first thing you want to do..:) I guess it makes us feel a little less helpless.
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I think helping others always makes us feel better. There are times when we just want to fix things, but we know we can’t. And then all we can offer is ourselves and our willingness to do whatever it takes to comfort someone. Sometimes the tragedy is beyond our powers to fix, but we can always let people know we are there, walking with them….
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Well done. This is so universal and it’s really primal love.
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Thanks, Kate, and your right, it really is primal love.
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Reblogged this on fourth generation farmgirl and commented:
I’m sharing this beautifully written post by one of my favorite bloggers. George is the author of the thoughtful and humorous blog, The Off Key of Life. I was moved by this powerful expression of humanity and its illustration of how the simple act of caring can have such a profound and positive effect on another.
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Lovely and beautiful. True love.
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Thank you, Avery.
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Amazing post!
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Thank you, Shivangi.
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Thanks for sharing this powerful and true post. If we all just spent a little more time looking up and smiling instead of down at our always handy device imaging the difference it would make in the world.
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Imagine..:) Thank you, Melody.
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Beautifully stated from the heart. You are obviously a good person … and more!
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Thank you, Frank. That’s kind of you to say.
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Reblogged this on frugallena and commented:
What an excellent reminder to share the love!
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We could always do worse than being thoughtful or inattentive for that matter. Very insightful post, George. :O)
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Reblogged this on Loving the Fifty Something and commented:
Beautifully written…
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Such a powerful post, George.
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Thank you, Jean.
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This is late comment and just want to say this so, so true!
Words do make a difference. Sometimes just to get them out there and feel you tried.
Just about a week ago, I lost three people I cared about. One was my son’s childhood friend who was aching and missing his Dad who had just passed away from cancer. Why would a 35 year old commit suicide? One never knows but forever after my son will wonder. . . what words could have made this young man’s decision be different? We tell my son it wasn’t anyone’s fault. . .
A co-worker left her job two Fridays ago, I knew her for nine years and others 42 years at same warehouse job. She never woke up on Saturday. She was 65. I usually smiled at her and maybe talked for one or two minutes but our jobs are so rushed. Some wish they had said a simple “Have a nice weekend.”
Lastly, most sadly my oldest daughter’s best friend’s mother passed away. It is most difficult because she refused visitors and my two grandsons had been babysat by her since potty training days (8 + 12 years old) They wanted to say they loved her and goodbye. So, yes. Words should be spoken whenever possible. Beautiful, George!
Hope you have a blessed Easter and much joy in your life! 💐🐥🐇
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Thank you and yes, we should say the words we want to say when we have the chance to speak them. I’m so sorry forgot losses, so close together and so young. My prayers to their family and friends during this difficult time.
Have a blessed Easter.
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What a beautiful post, George! Poetic. I think about what you’ve said here a lot when it comes to my marriage. Things get so complicated between my husband and I sometimes, and there are loving words I want to say, but I hold back for some reason. Your post makes me think what a waste it is not to say the words. Thanks.
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Thank you, Kim. Love and relationships can be complicated and sometimes we don’t say the things we want to say because we’re afraid of how it might be received or if we’ll be hurt by their response. Vulnerability is a tough thing. The only thing you can do is say what you want to say. At the end of the day, you can at least say you love done and said all you could…:)
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Very touching, George. My mother is extremely ill, and this really spoke to me.
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Thank you so much. My prayers for your Mom and for the strength you’ll need to help her though this difficult time. God bless..
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Much appreciated, thank you.
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Thank you for this beautiful reminder George!
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Thank you..:)
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Fantastic Article!…
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Thank you for thinking so…:)
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