Raped Twice

Statistics tell us that one in five women in the United States have been raped in their lifetime.

One in five women.

The next time you’re in a room filled with people, take a look around at the women in that room and think about those numbers. Disturbingly, since rape is underreported in this country, that number is higher than statistics indicate.

When I started this blog I wanted it to be a place I could go to and just write what was on my mind. Whether it was funny or serious, it was going to be my place to vent. The Stanford swimmer’s rape trial and verdict that has been in the news recently is so disgustingly obscene that even though I wanted to write something, I couldn’t find my way here to rationally articulate any reasonable thoughts. But I have to say something.

A young unconscious girl was assaulted and raped in January 2015 by a drunk student named Brock Turner who happened to be a swimmer. He comes from a privileged family and lives in Oakwood, Ohio, a neighborhood known for a higher standard of living with good schools and a low crime rate. The median household income in $100,724, more than double the average in Ohio.

Brock’s father lamented that his son’s life is pretty much ruined and that it was a steep price to pay for “20 minutes of action out of his 20 plus years of life.”  Anyone who wonders if Brock has any respect at all for women should look no further than the insensitive ignorance coming from his father’s mouth. It’s possible the father is a bigger waste of human DNA than his son.

Brock’s mother pleaded with the judge for no jail time, saying that any time behind bars would be a “death sentence.” She felt he wouldn’t survive jail, that he’s be “damaged goods” and a major target being a “Stanford boy.” She claims that Brock is a “shattered and broken shell of the person he used to be. My once happy and vibrant boy is distraught, deeply depressed, terribly wounded and filled with despair.”

She also claims that he has never been in any trouble and his dreams have been shattered. “No NCAA championships, no Stanford degree, no swimming in the Olympics, no medical school, no becoming an Orthopedic surgeon.”

Neither Brock’s mother or father ever mention the trauma endured by the young lady he raped. Not once.

It should also be mentioned that the clean-cut image of Brock that his mother describes doesn’t include his drug use in high school. Why is that important? Because Brock’s explanation for why he made a bad decision is the drug and drinking culture he was exposed to in college and feels that culture is responsible for his uncharacteristic actions. Only he was using before college.

Why are we not surprised that a young college aged man refuses to accept responsibility for his actions and chooses to shift the blame to someone or something else. As if he didn’t know better. As if he didn’t have the ability to make the right choices.  However, after listening to his parents speak, it really isn’t surprising at all. This is a family of self absorbed, clueless individuals with no regard for anyone but themselves and their place in society.

Then there’s the judge in this case. After being found guilty in March, Santa Clara Superior Court Judge Aaron Persky, could have sentenced Brock  to fourteen years in jail. Prosecutors asked for six years. Persky sentenced him to six months. He’ll be out in three. Why? Persky doesn’t think Brock is a threat and won’t repeat his actions again.

Really? So that’s the new basis for sentencing? If we don’t think someone who has killed or maimed someone because he/she was driving while intoxicated, will be a menace to society again, we can simply set them free? If someone who doesn’t have a record kills their spouse by mistake in a fit of anger but the judge is confident he/she won’t do it again, they can walk with a slap on the wrist? That’s how we’re going to serve out justice going forward? Or is that just how they do it in Santa Clara.

Rape is something you carry with you for the rest of your life. It alters and affects almost every aspect of how you live, who you trust, where you go, what you think and who you are. Society, in their distorted sense of rationale, sometimes places more blame, scrutiny and stigma on the victim rather than the individual who committed the crime.

A person who has already been a victim of this heinous crime shouldn’t have to feel like they were raped again by a judge who shows more compassion, concern and justice for the criminal than the victim.

One in five women.

 

 

60 thoughts on “Raped Twice

    1. George Post author

      Thank you Sheila. I’ve been reading about that case also. I guess what disgusted me was the response of his parents and the judge’s sentence and reasoning, if one can refer to it in those terms.

      Liked by 1 person

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  1. Kim

    We were talking about this case at work recently and all feel exactly as you do , George. It’s disgusting. It’s funny because often you hear people from the upper socioeconomic realm critizing the poor for what they view as a sense of entitlement regarding social programs and such, but clearly their own sense of entitlement is just as great if not greater, but in a differ way.

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    1. George Post author

      Absolutely, Kim. I was telling my wife this morning that if this was someone else without the money or connections he would have received the max sentence. It’s a dirty offshoot of the judicial system…and beyond.

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  2. Ann Coleman

    I had exactly the same reaction when I heard the father’s words: there’s where this young man got his attitude about sex and women. Sadly, empathy for others seems to be on the decline, which means that violence towards others is on the increase. As for rape, I honestly don’t think that there’s anyone who doesn’t know a woman who has been raped, whether they are aware of it or not. I remember reading a blog post where a young woman said that the possibility of being raped is always present in every woman’s mind in every situation (and I believe she’s right), and was shocked by how many of the comments said she was just being paranoid and/or looking for attention. Rape, and the possibility of rape, is a reality for women, period. Excellent post!

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    1. George Post author

      Thanks, Ann. To believe and live with the possibility of rape in your life on a daily basis is so disturbing and sad. I’ve never heard that before but I believe it to be true. To know that in other less fortunate countries this is a way of life without justice makes me angry. For all that had changed for the good in this country, some things, unfortunately, remain the same.

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    2. TheMoonLitHowl

      That’s part of the problem, too. Too often, either within their family or among friends, women are taught to second guess their often very correct intuition. Taught to second guess their gut reaction to someone or something that makes them feel less than comfortable in a situation. The woman was right. Women, whether they are willing to admit it or not, do always have the fear or worry of rape at the back of their mind, particularly when meeting/going out with a man for the first time. Slightly different situation, but twice in my life I have felt/known a man was behaving towards me in an unacceptable manner. In this instance both were married, but were contacting me, talking to me in a chatty way, but there was something not right. Something very subtle that got under my skin. When I told others that I felt they were acting in a way that made me feel uneasy. Made me feel as if they were “coming onto” me, I was told I was imagining things. Being silly. In other words, I was told not to trust my gut. Where was my female support??? Both times I listened to my gut, and BOTH times I was right! When society attempts to make someone doubt their gut over something smaller such as this, is it any wonder women second guess themselves when they feel a man might not be safe???

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      1. George Post author

        People should always listen to their gut and I’m surprised more women didn’t support your instincts since women are much more perceptive than men ever will be.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. TheMoonLitHowl

        Thank you! I was surprised, too, by those who sought to tell me I was being silly. Fortunately, I stuck to my guns anyway. Not always easy to do. And, yes, everyone should listen to their gut. Always. And if it’s wrong? Better safe than sorry.

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  3. jan

    So tragic. All the parents can think of is their son’s potential accomplishments – it’s as though they are being robbed. Given their attitude he probably won’t. Just sad.

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  4. Carol Ferenc

    So well said, George. This boy’s parents are pathetic. I wonder how they’d feel if their daughter had been raped?

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  5. In My Cluttered Attic

    The whole heinous act he committed was made only more revolting by the Judge and that ridiculous ruling. Our justice system is repeatedly showing that it is not about justice at all. The accused lost so much? Really! And what about the victim?

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  6. chumacharm

    Great post Uju. When you fail at you responsibility to raise a responsible child and then go to any length to convince the law not to punish that child for a henious crime he has committed, it’s a clear indication of the ripple effect of failed parenting. Makes me wonder how Brock will rasie his own kids. Very sad.

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  7. George Post author

    I couldn’t agree more. Makes you wonder who will choose to marry and have children with him and how they will react when they find out about their father’s past.

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  8. joylovestravel

    Outrageous George – the unjust and frankly insulting jail sentence is disgraceful but it was the father’s comments that really hit a nerve with me. What kind of screwed up person is he – the son didn’t stand a chance.

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  9. Jennifer Kelland Perry

    I agree, George. The parents of this young rapist are a big part of what is wrong with the world. And what is equally disgusting is if this had been a black man from the “poor side of town” the judge would probably lock him up for life and throw away the key.

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  10. timkeen40

    This is something I cannot understand. I have never been excited by a woman telling me to leave her alone, never turned on by a woman not wanting me in anyway. These are sick men. They do not speak for all of us.

    Tim

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    1. George Post author

      Yes he will because he did it and basically got away with it. My guess is, based on his father’s words, the father may have done the same thing in the past.

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  11. Tareau Barron

    I just found this outstanding post article you wrote. I just wrote a piece via thecouchsports.com talking about this disgusting culture we live in. Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

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  12. The Freelancer

    It’s awesome to see a guy posting stuff like this. I don’t hate men, but when my sister was raped, the county attorney responsible for investigating told her, “boys will be boys.” He said he was once in a frat house, and it’s just what happens in college. Then he dropped the charges.

    It’s encouraging to see that those men are the exception, and respectable men like you are the rule. Now I just wish society could see that, and people could start working on real solutions.

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    1. George Post author

      Thank you. I think there are more men who think and feel this way they just don’t have a voice or know what or how to say what they’re thinking or feeling.
      The harder part, as you suggest, is finding real solutions and not continuing to victimize the real victims.
      I pray that your sister and those who love her find a way to heal from her hideous ordeal.
      Stay well.

      Liked by 1 person

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      1. The Freelancer

        I started a fb group for trying to find real solutions, but its controversial because at some point victims have to take some responsibility for being part of the problem after the fact. We’ve created not only a rape culture, but a culture in which the victim is celebrated for tearing down her rapist. Which solves nothing.

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    1. George Post author

      Thank you. I’ve been surprised how many comments I’ve had from women who have been victims of rape and they all speak, as you have about their daily struggle just to function. I’m so very sorry that experience is part of your life.

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