Okay, so let me first say that it’s my belief most people, especially after a certain age, look better with their clothes on than with them off. Of course that’s a generalization but if we’re all being honest here it’s a generalization that has some merit with a ratio that is dramatically skewed one way rather than the other. I’ll let you determine which is which.
So when I read that there was a restaurant opening in London where clothing was optional, there were obvious questions that came to mind. The first relating to what kind of seats they were planning to use and what the disinfectant policy was for said seats. Because I have to believe everyone should be asking that question, don’t you think?
Me: Hi, I’d like to make a reservation for your naked restaurant but first I’d like to know how you intend to remove the residuals left from the seat of the previous diner.
Hostess: I don’t understand the question.
Me: Okay, let me be more clear. You have someone who wipes tables down or changes table clothes when guests leave, right?
Hostess: Yes, of course.
Me: Okay, So when someone leaves and before someone else sits in the seat of the person who left, who from your staff cleans the area where the previous diner rested, sweated and shifted on his or her butt for two hours.
Hostess: Oh, I see what you mean.
Me: Great, so we’re making progress. Do you have an answer?
Hostess: Yes, we use a very strong disinfectant. No need to worry.
Me: No need to worry about catching germs or no need to worry about the strong disinfectant burning my skin after its been cleaned and me sitting on it for two hours.
Me: Yes, what?
Hostess: Yes, no need to worry. Now if you want to make a reservation I should tell you there is a wait list of 15 thousand.
Me: 15 thousand what?
Hostess; 15 thousand people
Me: You’re kidding, right?
Hostess: Do you want to make a reservation, Sir?
Me: Can you give me more information on the seat cleaning process?
Hostess: Hanging up
So The Bunyadi Restaurant in London is opening this summer and it has naked and clothed sections with a naked section waiting list of fifteen thousand brave souls. Who knew there was a demographic gap in the restaurant industry we were all clueless about.
I don’t know about you but sometimes it’s tough watching people eat with their clothes on. I can’t imagine enjoying and attempt to digest a good meal when the views are less than appetizing. Then again, I still haven’t moved past the seating issue.
So is your name on the list of fifteen thousand? If a restaurant like this opened in your hometown would you consider going?
Don’t worry, I won’t judge. But if a rash develops soon after you leave and you have difficulty sitting for several days, don’t say I didn’t warn you.