A Five Year Old, Computers And Me

As many of you know, I’m a substitute teacher in our local school district. Today I was subbing for the computer teacher in one of the  elementary  schools and while the morning went well, my afternoon was comprised of three kindergarten classes. Yeah, everything you’re visualizing is about what happened. Me, twenty-two five year olds for each period, thirty computers and lots of untapped energy.

Anyway, as the middle afternoon class was walking in, I had this brief conversation with a little five year old girl who must have been born with attitude running through her veins.

KG: (Looking way up at me) You look like my grandfather

Me: (Looking way down and smiling) Then your grandfather must be very handsome

KG: (Shaking her head) He has a big beard.

Me: (Shrugging my shoulders) Then I guess I don’t look like your grandfather.

KG: (Looking at me defiantly) He has hair like you and he’s two hundred years old.

Me: (Still smiling) That’s nice. Its fun to still have hair when you’re two hundred years old.  Not many people do.

KG: (Tilting her head) My grandfather does but he walks real slow.

Me: (Shrugging) It happens sometimes, especially when you get to be two hundred years old. I’m surprised he’s walking at all.

KG: (Squinting her eyes) Do you walk slow?

ME: (Forcing a smile) Only after teaching your class.

KG: (Looking confused) What does that mean?

Me: (Smiling) It means I need you to count all the buttons on all the keyboards in this computer room and write down how many there are on this piece of paper. After that, I need you to count all the wheels on all the chairs. Can you do that for me?

KG (Nodding) Yes.

Me: (Smiling) Thank you, you’re a big help.

KG: (Following me) Yes I am.

Me: (Half smiling) Yes you are.

KG: (Following me) Yes, I am.

There was still 35 minutes left in the period. Care to guess how the rest of it went?

61 thoughts on “A Five Year Old, Computers And Me

  1. sportsattitudes

    George, it sounds like the proposed perfect match between teacher and student just did not “compute” in this case. Perhaps we can affix a new name to this type of unique educational torture…”keyboarding.” Kids say the darnedest things…I think somebody made a career out of that, like, 200 years ago. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. George Post author

      Yes, they do…:) But I love and have fun with their honesty. I don’t know that I can handle high school but the little ones say the most interesting things..:) it keeps me honest.


  2. roughwighting

    Hysterically laughing. Kudos to you for keeping up with that little girl and her dialogue with you. I related to this so much, being a grandmother of six, 7 years and younger. Ah, how they love to test and tease. 🙂


  3. davidprosser

    I’d be inclined to think your little gem made the life of her classmates difficult by moving them all out of the way while she subbed for you and let them all know you’d deputised her..No doubt she came back with a count before the lesson was over?
    Shouldn’t you retire before 200?


  4. DailyMusings

    I always say there are no secrets in first grade(the grade I teach) the honesty comes shining right through, and if the parents knew the half of what is revealed to me they would faint! Sounds like feisty young lady you had there 🙂


  5. Barb Knowles

    This is hysterical! And why I don’t teach elementary students. From the high school kids I get… Student: “You have grey hair now. Why don’t you retire.” Me: “If I color my hair again would you still think I should retire?” Student: “No.” Okaaaay.


  6. Hugh's Views and News

    These are always the best conversations, George. On the other end of the scale, I’ve also had some brilliant conversations with my Aunt Beryl who sadly passed aways a few years ago but, none the less, always made me laugh with some of the things she said.


  7. Ann Coleman

    I LOVED the line “only after teaching your class!” I used to be a substitute teacher too, so I can relate. One time a young girl spotted me in the hallway and came running over to give me a big hug, throwing her arms around my waist. I was quite touched until she spoiled the moment by saying, “I really like you because you’re so soft!”


    1. George Post author

      Lol…but at least she liked you for a reason..:) I love those moments when they walk in the classroom in the morning and the boys high five me and the girls give me a hug. Or when they see you around town and come over to say hello. That only happens in elementary school..:)

      Liked by 1 person


Leave a Reply to Barb Knowles Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s