Valentine’s Day And Men’s Underwear

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, but you’d be wrong. This isn’t about that, it’s about this; the relationship that men have with their underwear and how this might help you in any last minute gift giving plans you have for today. After all, this is a multifaceted blog and providing assistance, where needed, is part of the deal, right?

So anyway, I read this survey that Tommy John Underwear put out recently about the bonding most men have with the only undergarment they need to purchase. If, in fact, they purchase them at all, but that’s another story. This is TJ’s business so understanding the male mind, which in itself is an oxymoron, is something they need in order to operate their business successfully. I just can’t imagine who they sent out to gather this information. Hopefully it wasn’t a door to door type of survey.

So it seems that 10 percent of men keep their underwear over ten years, or longer than the length of their first marriage, and that men generally hold onto their underwear much longer than women. More than 40 percent have a “special occasion” pair, not to be confused by the 40 percent who have a “lucky” pair. I’ll leave it to your imagination to figure out the difference.

Here are some other interesting, I really don’t need to know, facts.

100 percent of men admit to making “adjustments” to their underwear at least once a day. Of those caught in the act, 40% say they were caught in front of their boss, 25% in front of friends, 18% at a fancy restaurant and 11% in front of their parents.
When asked why they adjust, bunching topped the list at 30% while sweating and ease of access came in second and third.

Having fun yet?

It also seems that 77% of those polled claim they buy their own while 14% say their partner does the buying and, get ready for this, 10% say their mom or mother-in-law purchases their unmentionables.

It seems that of those who let their mother-in-law buy their undies, 44% have tighty-whities in their drawer and 33% have superhero themed pants. Oh yeah, 45% of men whose mother-in-law buys their underwear claim to “adjust” themselves “a million times a day.”

Is Doctor Freud available?

Is your stomach starting to feel queasy yet?

Okay, then lets just put an end to this with these final statistics. It seems 33% of men 18-29 wait until their underwear begins to sag before replacing them while 45% of males ages 45-59 do the same. If you’re over sixty, I’m guessing they feel sagging is a given.

Wait, was that a joke?

Finally, to answer the age old question. It seems 20% of males 45-59 still prefer tight-whities compared to 5% of men ages 18-29. More than 80% claim to prefer boxers with a third of this group opting for the loose kind.

Yeah, I know you’re curious so to answer your question 6% prefer going commando.

So there you have it. You can thank me later, assuming your stomach is still in the mood for breakfast.

As for me, I’m off to slip on my special Valentine’s Day underwear and socks. I forget when I bought them but it seems that doesn’t really matter?

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

 

64 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day And Men’s Underwear

  1. Kate Crimmins

    “ease of access” What does that mean? No, never mind. This past week my husband announced he needed underwear. I went along with my coupons. He likes colored tighties. It took a half hour for him to pick them out. I, on the other hand, get the same brand, same sized nude ones. It takes me 30 seconds to buy them. I also toss the first time I have to “adjust.” Thanks for the commentary on men and their undies.

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  2. sportsattitudes

    Breakfast was already well digested so I’m good there. Interesting stats and am surprised to find “wear” I “fit” in. The thing is I haven’t actually given much conscious thought to this subject before. I have no idea on my daily number of “adjustments” but I can brag I am cognizant enough to not do any in front of any person other than my wife…and that’s kept to a very classy minimum. Really don’t have much of a “fit” issue normally (must “know my stuff”), do always buy my own…I sound like I’m doing pretty well down under(wear).

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  3. uju

    Hahahahahahahaha I just can’t ;D
    You’re right, I’ve lost appetite for my bananas now… and it’s dinner.

    What a survey! Thanks for the laughs, George. Happy valentine πŸ™‚

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  4. In My Cluttered Attic

    George, this post proves that you have a heart. Reminding us men of how important a good pair of The Fruit of the Loom’s can be. Otherwise, were it not for my wife, I’d get confused and hold onto my underwear longer than my shoesβ€”my tennis shoes…circa 1981. And I have it on good authority (ME) that 1% of men adjust their underwear to make room for hiding their cash, for those occasions when they go down a dark alley. It gives me the satisfaction of knowing that if ever a thief does decide to frisk me, he’ll only get junk money. I fear most of my underwear was hand-me-downs anyway, so he should count himself lucky he doesn’t run of with a bunch of junk bonds. In any event, I’ll probably never see any of my cash again, as I have no elastic left in my waist bands. Besides, I never saw myself as much of a commando as my wife prefers me in tightly whitiesβ€”if at all…ooooo. πŸ˜€

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    1. George Post author

      Lol…junk money. That’s funny. I love setting you up for the kind of response I knew would be coming. My guess is your wife prefers anything over the commando look for you..::)

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    1. George Post author

      Right? That’s the one thing that stood out the most for me. What married man allows or let’s their MIL to buy their underwear on a regular basis. That’s just so wrong it’s beyond the ability of my mind to comprehend …:)

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  5. socialbridge

    George, this appealed to the sociologist in me!
    Interesting you should mention socks as I remember a discussion years ago about a guy and how he undoubtedly matched socks and undies. I often wonder if this is something men do and you sound like you could have the answer for me.

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    1. George Post author

      Lol…how did I know sociology would play a part on this? Psychology maybe, but I guess it’s all tied into a nice little package. As for me, I never make a conscious effort to match underwear and socks. It’s too much trouble. Except for Valentine’s Day, of course..:) But I made it easy for myself..:)

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  6. Nancy

    Well, I speechless…I am kind of wondering about the focus group. How do you approach someone to be on you “underwear panel”? Lot to think on.😊

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  7. DailyMusings

    This is hilarious! ! True about keeping them for 10 years, I am usually the one who throws them out when I see them in the laundry all frayed and elastic worn out! Entertaining reading George 😁

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  8. candidkay

    I am reminded of a fellow blogger’s description of her husband’s rationale for purchasing new underwear after 10 years: “I’m 45, dammit. My balls deserve to be comfortable.” I guess that sums it up:).

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  9. vanbytheriver

    I had to think about this one for a bit, George. Funny perspective, but very different for women. That lingerie drawer…is often tied to self esteem. Or so they say. If you’re undergarments are in disrepair…you need to think better of yourself. Just a thought. ☺

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  10. Ann Coleman

    George, this was so funny! I’ve always wondered just what it is with men and their underwear. My husband buys new underwear for each and every trip he goes on, putting them in the suitcase still in their original package. And they stay there for the whole trip (he has others he actually wears on the trip), and when we get home, he puts the unopened package in his drawer, where it stays for years. Next trip, new package. If he lives to be 115 years old and never buys another pair of underwear again, he will still have more than he needs!
    (But at least he doesn’t ask my mom to buy it for him. I try to be openminded, but I think having your mother-in-law buy your underwear is just plain wrong!)

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    1. George Post author

      That’s one of the more unusual quirks I’ve ever heard about underwear buying…:)
      Yeah, the MIL thing got to me also. I don’t know what kind of relationship allows that going on…:)

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  11. Lady Dickson

    I’m definitely an easy going person and I don’t control my husband at all. BUT. If he kept wearing underwear that was 10 years old? DIVORCE. DIVORCE IS NEXT. IT’S THE ONLY LOGICAL PROGRESSION.

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  12. uju

    Hmm I wonder if anyone else got a mail from a Tommy sales person (Guardians of Male privates?) asking if they wanted to check out their video on more undies and perhaps blog about it πŸ˜€

    But Guardians of Male Privates… Seriously?

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