A Conversation With A Four Year Old About Love And Marriage

I should preface this post by letting you know that my grandson, Matthew, who was diagnosed with lymphoma two months ago is in complete remission. He is in the middle of another round of chemo this week and he’ll have one more after that before he’s done, probably by the end of October. Thank you for all your prayers, notes, support and wishes. They’ve meant more than you’ll ever know. 

The other day, I picked up Matthew’s four-year old sister, Sophia, from day care and as we were driving in the car I began asking her how school was and what she did that day. She’s a child of few words, unless of course she sees a means to her end. Then there is constant conversation and negotiation complete with lots of smiles and kisses. In short, like most kids her age, she knows how to work a room.

So I was surprised when she initiated the following conversation which I wrote down when we got back to the house so I wouldn’t forget it.

Sophia: Grandpa, can I “tell” you a question?

Me: Sure, what’s your question?

Sophia: Why do mommy’s and daddy’s sleep in the same bed?

Me: (Answering cautiously) Well, when a man and a woman fall in love and get married they get to sleep together in the same room and bed.

Sophia: But why?

Me: (Wondering where this was going) Because when you love each other you want to be as close as possible to the other person when you go to bed at night.
One day, when you get a lot older, you’ll find someone you love a lot, you’ll get married and you’ll sleep in the same bed with him, just like mommy and daddy.

Sophia: But I don’t have to meet someone because I’m going to marry Matthew.

Me: (Laughing) Well, I don’t think you’re going to be able to marry Matthew, Sophia.

Sophia: Why?

Me: Well, it’s against the law to marry your brother or sister.

Sophia: Then we need to change the law. We can find a policeman and tell him and he can change the law.

Me: (Smiling) When you get old enough, I guess we can do that and see what happens.

Sophia: Okay

Me: Tell me, why do you want to marry Matthew?

Sophia: Because he’s really handsome.

Me: (Smiling) Yes, he is. Why else?

Sophia: Because he always shares his candy with me and whenever I’m sad, he makes me happy.

Me: (Barely able to speak) Maybe one day you’ll find someone just like Matthew.

Sophia: But Grandpa, there isn’t anyone like Matthew.

I had no answer for that, nothing I could say even if I could get past the lump in my throat.

The deepest kind of love in its simplest form is taught to us by a four-year old. Find someone who is handsome, shares their candy with you and makes you happy when you’re sad. Do we really need anything more than that in life?

I believe that one day, Matthew is going to make someone very happy. And I also believe that there is someone out there right now who will have very big shoes to fill, in the heart and mind of a four-year old girl.

 

 

 

89 thoughts on “A Conversation With A Four Year Old About Love And Marriage

      1. Nurse Kelly

        I’m sure it’s incredible and adds so much to your life! You are so blessed to have them both! Maybe you can keep sharing more stories from those two with us here! Very heartwarming!

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  1. Holly'sMom

    First of all, congratulations to Matthew and his entire family. What wonderful news! Secondly, I agree, for a sister of four to speak so highly of her brother………….well, that speaks volumes. Precious.

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  2. Dale

    George, l think I have something in my eye….
    So happy for Matthew and Sophia. He for being in remission and she for having such a special relationship with her brother.
    What a lucky Grandpa you are!

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    1. George Post author

      Thank you, Dale. We all feel very blessed for Matthew. Having the kind of relationship they have is something to see. I hope it continues through their lives. Good to hear from you..:)

      Liked by 1 person

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  3. Sammy D.

    These conversations are what bond families. We are so privileged to be able to spend time with our grandchildren.

    That is great news about Matthew. May his remission be permanent and the rest of chemo go as hoped.

    Liked by 1 person

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  4. uju

    Aww she has it all figured out. It’s nice to know she has an idea what love should look like from her brother who also gets it from his parents and they from you (don’t you love the cycle) 🙂

    Good news about Matthew. Glad he’s in remission. Love, prayers and blessings sent to your family, George.

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  5. Jennifer's Journal

    Well, you just made this old girl cry, and her husband too! How nice to read something like this, this morning. My granddaughter said the same thing about her little brother a few years back. 🙂 ❤

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  6. Ann Coleman

    What a beautiful post! You aren’t the only one with a lump in their throat after reading that… And I’m so happy to hear about Matthew’s remission! Continued prayers for strength as he undergoes the last two rounds of chemo…

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  7. Diana Taglianetti (Jaye Capobiano's sister-in-law)

    So happy to hear about Matthew’s remission. He will remain in my prayers. As far as Sophia goes, I know a very handsome 6-yr old who shares candy, too. Maybe we could get them together in 20 years.

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    1. George Post author

      Lol…you never know. Stranger things have happened..:) Good to hear from you, Diana. Thank you for your continued prayers. My very best to your family.

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  8. A.PROMPTreply

    Wonderful news, George. I also congratulate you on your part in raising such a fine family filled with so much love…….you reap what you sow…and how much sweeter does it get than kids like Matthew and Sophia!

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  9. granmato5girls

    Well George I have been watching for your next blog and as usual you never disappoint me. I loved this story and Sophia sounds precious you can tell her for me that when I was little I wanted to marry my brother too.She has set high standards for herself and I am sure big brother will make sure she never settles for anything less. Big brothers are like that you know.
    By the way my brother is 67 and still shares his candy with me.

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  10. Mindy

    Aww, George! Your family is so cute! Also, I was very happy to hear about Matthew being in remission. It’s always great to hear good news about someone beating illness.

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  11. colorpencil2014

    Good Morning George, catching up with my blog friends after my long travels. I really enjoyed reading up on yours, you have a lovely way of writing ( when is the first book coming?)
    I am so happy that things with Matthew are progressing in the right direction. He is a brave young man with a loving family. I think, indeed that one day both your grandchildren will pass on that loving care to the next generation…they already seem to know what live is all about.
    My thoughts and prayers stay with you and your family, Johanna

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
    1. George Post author

      Hi Johanna,

      So nice to hear from you. I hope your travels were all that you hoped for and that you had a great time. I’m sure I’ll be reading about some of your experiences..:)
      Thank you for your words about Matthew and for your continued thoughts and prayers. We thank God that things have worked out for the best. He still has another round of treatment the week after next but hopefully that will be his last.
      Your comment about my writing style and first book made me laugh because I keep getting pushed to do that from those closest to me so hearing it from you brought a smile to my face. Thank you for the compliment. That was very nice of you.
      Thanks also for taking the time to catch up on my blog.
      Welcome back.
      George

      Liked by 2 people

      Reply
  12. Nancy

    Oh, George! I’m choked up myself. This made my day. Not just because of your granddaughter sweetness but because Matthew is nearing the end of his struggles.

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  13. Barb Knowles

    So often we get the absolute truths from little children. Life as seen through their uncluttered lens. This is a beautiful post. It brought tears to my eyes. What precious grandchildren you have.

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  14. davidprosser

    I now share the lump in the throat George, so much for having breakfast.
    The news about Matthew is wonderful. I have my fingers crossed the chemo has no real adverse reactions and he can start getting stronger now. I hate cancer.
    Hugs

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    1. George Post author

      Thank you, David. One more round of chemo beginning next week, another round of tests and removal of his port in mid November and he should be done until the quarterly monitoring.
      I share your sentiments about cancer. Thanks again.

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  15. lisakunk

    I love your blog. I love your insights on aging. I love your grandchildren. I love the word remission. I’m wondering how Matthew is doing now, almost a year later. Well I hope.

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    1. George Post author

      Thank you, Lisa. That’s very kind of you to say. Matthew is doing well, thank God. He finished treatments last November and has had scans in February and May and both were clean. He goes again at the end of the month. We hope the doctors are right..:)
      Writing is always cathartic but I found it difficult to come here for awhile. Then I went with him for several of his treatments to Sloan and had to write about what I saw, so that inspired The Ninth Floor post. When he was done I wrote Fight Like A Kid, which helped me put things in place, as much as anything can be put back in place. Thank you so much for asking and you’re right, remission is a beautiful word, especially when they place the word “complete” before it..:)
      I look forward to reading more of your posts and this interesting g time in your life. Thank you again.

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