There are people who leave their Christmas lights up well after the holiday is over and into the summer months. Then they figure, what the heck, Christmas is only three or four months away so I might as well leave them up. That mindset leads into the following year, and the next, and the next, etc., until the lights become part of their landscape. Except they never turn them on. So they just hang there like a kid at a school dance waiting for someone to ask them to a party that was never planned.
Those people make me crazy. So if you happen to be one of those people, well…I’d Iike to say I’m sorry but I’m not so why pretend, right?
And then there’s this guy. I passed this house earlier today and it took all the self control I had not to get our of my car, ring his doorbell and ask him one question.
The holiday season was over four months ago and you haven’t had a moment to put Santa to bed for the season? Your reindeer look as if they’ve tried to escape from the obvious abuse and are now either wasted or begging for someone to give them a new home. It was 80 degrees yesterday. Look at them. They’re not used to this type of weather. As for the big guy, well, I wouldn’t exactly be writing up a Christmas list next year if I were you. You can’t abuse the man’s image and status and then ask him for a new scooter, you know what I mean?
Do you have any idea how many kids you’re scarring? How many parents have to speed by your lawn art so their kids don’t get a glimpse and ask the obvious question? I just don’t think you’ve given the bigger picture much consideration and for that you’re looking at coal next year, buddy.
I know you’re home because the flag is out and there were three cars parked in the driveway. Three. Which means it won’t take you and your posse that long to drag these oversized ornaments into the backyard and away from my irritated mind.
So you have a week, whomever you are, to get your act together. If it’s not gone by then, I’ll have to take matters into my own hands, though I prefer not going to the dark side. That’s so not in the four-month ago holiday spirit.