The First Bizarre Story Of 2015

Apparently a Florida man and woman spent two days trapped in what they thought was a locked closet, until police let them out and found the door was never locked.

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The two geniuses are John Atwood, 31 and Amber Campbell, 25, who claim they were chased into a janitor’s closet at Daytona State college in Daytona Beach, Florida by unidentified assailants, according to the Daytona Beach Police Department’s Report.

Now let’s all pause for a moment and take a look at the mug shots. If you’re asking yourself what these two brainiac’s are doing on a college campus, well, my guess is you’re not alone.  By the way, love the dollar sign artwork on the neck. You can draw your own conclusions on the significance.

But of course, the story gets better.

The pair waited two days before calling 911. That’s right, they had cell phones and they waited an entire 48 hours before calling for help.

Police found the couple in the Marine and Environmental Science Center. Yes, I’m with you on your next obvious question and I don’t have a clue. Do either one of these two look like Scientists? I know looks can be deceiving, but come on.

After police opened the door they checked to see if the door would lock on the inside. I guess they were figuring they might have locked themselves in?  No, I can’t even go there.

Anyway, after checking, police confirmed the door had been unlocked the whole time.  They found human feces and a scouring pad in the closet, the latter of which is commonly used to smoke crack cocaine. However, no drugs were found. Wow….really? Because I needed someone to explain to me what they were doing for 48 hours and why it took them so long to find and use their cell phone in a janitor’s closet. Anyone care to lay down some money on what additional chemicals normally stored in the closet might need to be re-ordered by the University?

Arwood and Campbell were charged with trespassing. Campbell was also charged with violating her probation. I know, you’re surprised. Arwood’s criminal record includes armed burglary and theft of firearms. I’m stunned.

You know what scares me? They probably have licenses and drive a car. Think about that the next time you’re approaching an intersection or cruising the interstate.

Welcome to 2015.

 

 

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